So, you go back to your life. Moments, days, weeks, or perhaps, months pass without even a glimpse of this beauty. You try finding others like her, only to be left disappointed. You give up completely. Making peace that a glimpse, perhaps, is all you will ever have. And then it happens...
You see her, all of her, and she's coming towards you. It's exciting. It's terrifying. Once you have her, can you handle her? Something so inspirational and beautiful is intimidating. What if I don't know what to do? What if I mess it up? What will other people think? But you know you'd be a fool not to try. You've been waiting for her return, and here she is, giving freely of herself. Go. Be with the muse.
She's ruthless. She's feirce. She consumes you. She's like an oncoming train that you can't stop. And you love it. She's the most magnificent thing you've witnessed. You're so caught up in her that you forget to eat, you forget to breathe. Your life is a mess. She is the only thing that matters, and she is both completely saticfying your every need while also making you crazy. You neglect your friends, your home, and yourself. You're exhausted, but oddly, you're fulfilled. You beg for a break from her, but are struck with horror at the idea of her leaving you. You need her.
She sticks around long enough for you to let your gaurd down. Every morning you wake, seeing her by your side. Together, in your disfuntion, you create beautiful things. You trust that your muse is here to stay... until the day you feared most, arrives. She's gone.
Your life becomes void of desire, of color, of anything worth staying out of bed for. You fill your time with wasted efforts and distractions. You can't think of the times that were whisked away in passion. They're over, and perhaps, so are you. Maybe you'll start reading more. Maybe you'll take up yoga. Who knows? One thing is for certain, you must get out of this funk.
You finally get your life back in order. You're showering regularly again. You've tidied your house. You've contacted your friends. You're even drinking tea instead of coffee because you've vowed to become healthier, more whole. Curled up with a book you've re-read a hundred times, and a cup of tea you felt obligated to brew, you feel a presence. Your heart flutters, your stomach drops, you look up. There she is. She pretends not to see you. You're finally functioning without her, and there she is. Do you chase her? You bet your ass you do.
...seriously. this is what my create streaks feel like. I love/hate them, and totally need them. How about you? Do you ever get struck by the muse? Or is there some other obsessive force in your life? Can you find balance when you're struck? ...or, is all of this crazy to you? :) I'd LOVE to know!!!